World of Weeping

Now that Cataclysm is amongst us, I have been seriously considering going back to that wretched game, despite a very strong argument pointing out why it's an awful idea. What can I say, I want me some of that troll druid action.

Click for larger trolls

As you can see my characters are not boxes. I have decided to make a bit of a change, we shall see how it goes.

So all apologies for the update-drought that has been afflicting this blog lately, I have been worked to the bones with all sorts of plays and essays, and essays about plays. I will attempt to try to update at least weekly until things get back in order, so please bear with me.

Now sit back and enjoy this image of the world's largest land based crab.

Its diet consists of coconuts and human kidneys.

 

  

Sparrows, and the machinations that consume them

Well shoot, I haven't been here in a while.

But I have good reason!

I've been incredibly busy, and will most likely continue to be incredibly busy, but at the moment I have a temporary reprieve, so here I am.

Remember when I decided to write that short story? Yeah well that didn't happen. Not only was I not completely satisfied with the concept, but I simply did not have enough time. But I do have an idea for a project that I would like to start and hopefully someday finish. It shall be known as:

And it shall be a collection of several very short stories that I have had kicking around my head for a while. They will mainly function as ways for me to get some of these ideas down on paper so I can see which ones are worth expanding on. The three I have lined up so far are:

A fantasy story set in a modern world (you never see those!)

A sci-fi story about a human ambassador who bonds with a plant like alien

A horror story about something that I'm not too sure of yet

I will get started on these as soon as possible, but don't expect them any time soon. I'm going to be busy with school for the next couple of months, so work on these will be slow at best. But know that I will finish them. 

And they will rock.

What is wrong, robot?

Gamma World was amazing.

This was the first time I ever DM'd a table top game (and only the second time I've ever played one) and the experience was completely unbelievable. It is no secret I love to write, and being a Dungeon Master is a writer's wet dream. I was telling a story that was constantly evolving, needing to change and adapt my narrative in accordance to fate and the unpredictable actions of Ratagan Manrattington (Medic), and Longshanks (Lex).

For example, the first enemy they were facing was a small robot that they were meant to kill before moving on. Instead, they made it cry and convinced it to join them in their adventure. That wasn't in the plan. But it sure was awesome.

A sketch of the party's robot, "I.G."

During their misadventures the trio managed to fight off radioactive birds, find a car, befriend a race of pig-men, and nuke a group of living plants. They were pretty productive.

I can't wait for the next session, where the party will brave the Bow River and reach St. Mary's high school, which is probably filled with snake people or something. I will have to see.

In other news, I am swamped with homework! Oh jeez oh jeez. Back to commentaries and questions!

  

What a terrible night for a brain-moose!

So today during rehearsal I was privileged enough to get to help clean dried up brain from a 30 year old moose-scalp. For those who have not had the distinct pleasure of chiseling rotten grey matter from an ancient moose skull, it is quite tedious (yet very rewarding!) work. Also, it smells exactly as you would think it would.

Judging from the skull, I assume the moose looked a bit like this.

Hopefully by tomorrow the smell will fade and I can start playing some Gamma World with Matt and Lex. I am using Calgary as a setting and have been enjoying turning all of our landmarks into post apocalyptic death-pits. The Stampede grounds are now the location of one of the area's largest settlements, and the Saddledome plays host to gladiator-like blood sports. And that's just the beginning! Teleporting plants, pigs on motorcycles, and obsessive compulsive robots await them!

And maybe, if they work together and believe in themselves, they will be able to stave of starvation long enough to get eaten by giant talking moles with British accents.

JOLLY GOOD

In which a man faces his fears

This is based on an upsettingly true story.

Click for larger leeches

So anyways, I picked up Gamma World today and I'm pretty darn excited to start playing it with some friends. The random character creation is definitely a winner; Medic already rolled his and ended up with a swarm of rats in human form controlled by a hypercognitive central intelligence. Its name is Rataguhn Manrattington and it wields a gun that uses rats from its own body as ammunition. The act of creating this character alone was enough entertainment to justify the purchase, so I can't even guess what the actual game will be like.

I assume we will never stop laughing.

I'm doing a Book note thing, I guess!

So a few of my friends have been doing "Book Notes," which involve writing down 15 books that you think will always stick with you. Keep in mind I limited myself to one book per author, to keep things a bit varied.

1) The Cthulhu Mythos - Lovecraft
2) Thud! - Terry Pratchett
3) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
4) The Hobbit - Tolkein
5) Watchmen - Alan Moore
6) The Gunslinger - Stephen King
7) Dune - Frank Herbert
8) The Hound of the Baskervilles - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9) 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne
10)1984 - George Orwell
11) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Phillip K. Dick
12) A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
13) The Gods of Pegana - Lord Dunsany
14) The Conqueror Worm - Mike Mignola
15) Areas of My Expertise - John Hodgeman


I don't want to go into them all in any great detail, because that would take literal eons. Just know that every one of these has influenced my life and my writing immensely, and I STRONGLY recommend all of them. I may have been cheating with Watchmen and Conqueror Worm, since they are graphic novels, but I guess you have to deal with it 

Just for you, Glenndl

Scream Fest was excellent,  and I was slightly less cowardly then I predicted. My friends and I were some of the only people there over 15, and MAN we felt old. The haunted houses were pretty freaky, and I saw a certain terrifying zombie child in the maze. We also saw the guy from Guinea Pig shove a meathook through his nose and out his mouth then hang a bowling ball from it, which was... entertaining?

The unthinkable has occurred!

Is this the first time I have done back to back blog posts?!?!?! Mayhaps it is! But don't start burbling with pleasure just yet folks; I'm only lavishing you with this rare treat because I may be unable to update tomorrow. So Instead of doing a late post as usual, I've decided to do an early one. And for today's post, I present to you yet another rare treat, me talking about my life!

Wait how is that a treat

Anyways, I have been a pretty busy bloody bee lately, and I think its starting to cause me considerable anguish, which as though who are familiar with anguish know, is not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination. At this moment I am involved in

• A play
• My school's leadership committee
• Improv club
• Torch
• Junior Achievement
• Another play
• Writing a 3000 word essay
• Full flipping IB

When I first took all this on, I thought I would be able to manage it, but that seems to be becoming less and less the case. The leadership committee in particular has been quite antagonizing to my well being, since the two leaders seem to think that while there are literally 20 members in our group, all tasks of any importance must be delegated to me. And when I try to get the other members to help its like they all get folded into some sort of higher dimension.

They just disappear from our mortal plane. 

Its frustrating to say the least, especially when one of those leaders tells you last minute that everything you've been doing is wrong. So yeah, I've been stressed. And now that Junior Achievement is starting I have a sneaking suspicion I will be literally drowning in work. IT WILL INVADE MY LUNGS

But being the stubborn fool that I am, I refuse to quit any of these things. Although I got to say, if I had to quit one of them it would be that Bob-forsaken leadership team. I get loaded with every single menial task they can think of, and almost never get any recognition. Also, we don't seem to actually do anything so, I dunno, maybe it doesn't matter if I'm in it or not. Seriously, if I put "Leadership Group" on a university application I will be asked if I made that bull honkey up. Its a joke.

Whoa I wrote a lot. I apologize for my delusional raving, maybe I shouldn't do this kind of thing at such a late hour. I get cross.

Now time to hit the hay, gotta get ready to be murdered with fright tomorrow. Can't wait!

The future is a worrisome place

You may have noticed I completely redesigned this whole mess, even the URL!!! I think this better reflects the tone and style I am going for with this blog, and I am quite pleased with it indeed. I even have a new comic for you guys, my first real one done with my tablet! It touches on a very sensitive topic, the total replacement of your blood with caffeine. It happens every day you know.

Every day some guy has his blood replaced with caffeine.

Click for larger caffeine

Things have been hectic as of late, and things will only increase in hecticity as time goes on, so I apologize in advance if my schedule cannot be strictly maintained. You have been warned, so brace yourself. Brace yourself well.

In stranger news, I'm now mayor of my school in foursquare, so I guess that means I can do whatever I want now. No more homework for me, teachers; not for Mister Mayor! And soda in the water fountains wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

In stranger news still, I will be attending scream fest on Friday, and I am looking forward to an evening of spooks and thrills! No really, I think I may die of fright. I am a nervous person in even the most non-terrifying situations, so being in an environment where people dressed as serial killers are literally lurking behind every corner may not be great for my health. I better bring some Median.

Scottish Scones

Today was the first Macbeth read through, and despite much stumbling and horses eating each other, we managed to pull through. Then I went home and drew this, my masterpiece:

BEHOLD

I guess my life's work is done.

I have been having a great conversation with a great person, which has so far taken place over twitter, text, and spoken word, thus making it extra-great. We apparently have much in common; we both share turbulent childhoods, we have similar interests and aspirations, and we have a similar taste in fine wine (we both agree '62 was a very good year). She is also pretty good at giving advice, and has already helped me with a few tricky situations, including how to safely hide all of these diamonds I stole.

Apparently gluing them to a skull is the way to go.

So all in all it has been a pretty good day. I'm still a bit nervous about singing in the play, due to having never sung anything before, ever. I'm sure I'll do fine though, as long as I can manage to hit the high notes without my voice cracking.

Oh yeah, a friend of mine has taken to picking me up and carrying me around like a child. It was initially terrifying, but now it's only slightly bothersome. Maybe someday I will grow to enjoy it.

Probably not.

Excitement and Defiance of said excitement

First off, WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT FOR A CURSE

I love my tablet so much, and paired with the Sketchbook Pro software it is truly a thing of magic. And due to what has become somewhat of a crippling social retardation, I have made this thing instead of today's comic:

Just to make it clear that even though I may raise my hackles when excited it doesn't mean I can't simultaneously look awesome.

Also, Macbeth stuff starts tomorrow, and I'm ready to kick it into high gear. Gonna slay this play, rockin every scene. I'm hard for the bard if ya know what I mean.

Oh goodness that was awful.

The thane of tablet

Welp I got a tablet. I still need to get used to it, and I need some software besides paint, but I think this is the start of a new era. Of terribleness.

Click for larger tablets

Yeah paint pretty much sucks. I need a REAL drawing application. Will acquire one as soon as possible.

Oh and I'm cast as Ross in my school's production of Macbeth!

I am quite excited for this play and can't wait to work with all sorts of wonderful people to make something amazing. Also, sword fights.

Wonderful timing

Today was jersey day and school, and since I don't own a jersey I got a lot of glares, mainly from one person whose name starts with a J and ends with oel Tallerico. He is the quintessential high school sports fanatic, to the point of dementia.

Click for larger sports

Sorry it's so faint. I think my scanner really sucks, I may have to hire a new one. I should start looking on monster.ca. Great place to find up and coming scanners.

Anyways.

I have to memorize some lines for my audition tomorrow and fight a Jhen Moran, so I must be off.

Be brave, be strong.

That Could be a Pokemon

As I said earlier, all of the new pokemon have been forced upon us, despite Nintendo's best effort to stop people from sharing information on a game that has already been released. It seems like the people in charge of thinking up new pokemon were running out of ideas, at least, until one of them went on a faithful walk.

Click for larger version

As you can see, I have made use of box people, in order to clearly distinguish my art from the far superior chainsawsuit. I was planning on getting a tablet today, but due to me thinking that there was an apple store where there clearly wasn't, I was disappointed. No worries though. I shall get it in the next week or so *crosses fingers.*

Okay now for something serious.

...

I got nothing. 

I am going to start blogging a bit more often, going for a "whenever I feel like it" style schedule to compliment my already existing M/W/F one. 

Now I'm off to- OH CRAP I HAVE TO LEARN SPANISH CATCH UP ON RELIGION AUDITION FOR A PLAY DO MY EXTENDED ESSAY AND WRITE THREE ARTICLES FOR THE SCHOOL PAPER. 

I may be busy these next few months.

Sick as a slug (a sick slug)

I've been pretty sick the past week, and believe me it has not been fun. Have you ever tried running a 4k race while sick? You shouldn't, it leads only to despair.

Which in turn leads to the dark side.

So for halloween this year I'm going to a rockin' party and I am thinking of dressing up as Gandalf. Originally I was just going to buy a costume but since it costs $80 and looks like crap I've decided to make one. So in the next couple of weeks I will need to buy/find:

• A grey bath robe
• A grey blanket
• A pair of grey gloves
• A fake beard
• A hat, which will probably have to be the officially licensed Gandalf hat

So yeah that isn't too bad. It should be a bit cheaper and most likely look infinitely better. On a side note, my birthday is on October 31st, and the party is on the 30th, so as soon as it turns midnight I will declare myself king of the party and ascend to my icy birthday throne.

Basically this.

In other news, our school is doing a performance of Makebeef by Bullion Snackspear, a charming culinary parody of Macbeth. 

Actually no we're doing Macbeth. 

I am auditioning, and although I would be happy with any part, I would very much like to be someone who uses a sword, preferably a claymore. I mean this IS Scotland we're talking about here. 

That's all they use.

I understand that this post has been a little all over the place, please forgive me. I will have a much more coherent (and perhaps serious?) one prepared for tomorrow, along with a fresh comic, picked straight from my brain tree.  

Mmmmmm. Fresh brain fruit. 

Reach for the Stars

I am currently playing Halo: Reach and it is pure fantastic-extract. Everyone should play it or be thrown in space jail (don't space-drop the space-soap in space-jail or you'll be space-raped). The armor abilities are a great addition, but who would use anything other then jetpacks. I mean, come on.

It's a jetpack.

Click for larger version

So I started drawing the rough draft of this but I liked it so much I just decided to clean it up a bit and use it. It's still pretty messy, but redrawing it would've taken forever and I am a busy man. Hopefully when I buy a tablet things will be easier and the comics will be nicer and more plentiful.

Hopefully.

All of my two other friends with blogs have been doing "serious" blog posts recently, which I find pretty dry but I guess I have to be popular so here it goes:

My dream is what many, many people would call a silly one.

To make a career based around webcomics.

See? You probably laughed. And you have a right to. I have never told this dream to anyone for multiple reasons. Among these reasons are my lack of artistic prowess and the difficulty of making it in the webcomics business. I realize that these are both valid issues, but to my credit my art is improving quite a bit, and it will continue to improve as long as I keep working at it. As for the whole "making it in the industry" thing, well, that's completely accurate.

It is after all a dream, and dreams don't often come true, but if I can keep making comics on a regular basis through university and afterwards, I have a not-bad chance of picking up a decent base of followers and a steady stream of income through advertisements and prints. This will in no way be my sole source of income, but even being mildly successful in this field would be fine with me. It will just be a thing I do on the side while I'm out fighting pirates on the back of mighty eagles with a great sword forged from the bones-

DANGIT. 

Well look at that. I almost did two whole paragraphs about something serious. New record?!?

Now I have to get back to thinking of a product for my Junior Achievement group. I still think we should sell bags of these, but apparently selling terrifying hairless rodents to office workers is a bad idea. Their loss.

Voice Communication Activated

I got my friend a headset for his birthday, so now hilarious banter during Starcraft and TF2 is much more convenient. Also, yesterday I realized that immortals are my favorite unit, and combining them with stalkers makes for a wonderful ground force. I mean, just look at them. Look at what they do.

Our cannons shall sing.

In other news, I just finished a political cartoon for social class.

And here it is.

I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. I like the professor. 

In other other news:

• I think I shall go as Gandalf for Halloween this year, but I will make my own costume. I will not pay $80 for a piece of crap store-bought one.
• I want this. I want it so much.
• All of the new pokemon have been revealed. Mostly hit and miss, my favorite is the bug that is also a knight. 
• I recited the Black Gate speech at club-day. Read about it heeeerererereeee

+2 Strength

I have been working out a lot.

Like a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot.

It is not uncommon for me to run in cross country and lift weights on the same day now, and the results are just starting to show. I'm still horrendously skinny but literally every inch of fat has been replaced by muscle, which is actually terrifying. I have a lot more self-confidence now, which is good, and maybe I'll finally be able to tank Onyxia (WOW REFERENCE LOL).

On a completely different topic, if I had to live in one topographical location for the rest of my life, it would be mountains.

The rocky mountains to be specific.

LOOK AT THEM

I love Canada. I love the cold. I love raw, untamed beauty. PERFECT

Also I am currently more busy then I have have ever been, its eight at night right now and I still have to draw a comic, write stuff for social, and work out. WHAT HAVE I DONE

POSTERS EVERYWHERE

I am the Master of Propaganda of my school's executive committee so I had to do some posters for club day. LOOK AT THEM

Click for larger version

Click for larger version

Click for larger version

JOLLY GOOD

Anyways, tomorrow I shall be talking to a rowdy bunch of grade tens, telling them what high school is like and not to huff paint and all of that. Hopefully I don't accidentally utter a dark incantation that drives them all mad.

I've done it before.

AND I SHALL DO IT AGAIN (Metal starts playing)

Time for bed, I have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow so I can run and be miserable.

Tears

Welp, looks like I gone went and wrote another vignette. HOW DARE I. But yeah I got this idea in a social class, from a drawing I made (wasn't a box) and it took off from there. I may post a cleaned up version of the drawing on Monday, if I can get it just right. Anyways, hope you like this.

Tears

Yesterday one of my old acquaintances invited me over to his house, claiming that he would show me something I had never seen before. He brought me down into his basement and there was a cage, and inside the cage there was a monster. A lump of dark, oblong flesh, with a horrible set of pincer-like horns on one end, and a rounded stump on the other. It had three muscular, writhing limbs, each a different size, which it used to drag itself around in a fashion that was as pathetic as it was repulsing. It was covered in bulging veins and bloody slime, like a giant tumour that somehow came to life. Between its horns was a hole I assumed was a mouth, and from this hole poured a clear, slimy liquid, that coated the floor and everything around it. It had no visible eyes, ears, or nose, but somehow it detected us, and started banging its limbs against the bars of the cage while shrieking at us like an angry child. Stammering, I asked my friend if it was dangerous, and he said that it would kill me if it got the chance. It would grab me with its arms and bash me against its horns until I died, and then it would squeeze the blood from my lifeless body and absorb it into its skin. I asked him where he found it and he said that it wasn’t found, it was made, and that more are being made. I staggered back, not sure what to make of the man I thought was my friend, and this monster writhing and twisting before me. He told me to relax, that they were not weapons or fiends, but merely creatures to be used for science and medicine, for organs and fluid and muscle. He fed it cows to keep it alive, and it was always hungry, always seeking to kill and feed. I chuckled nervously and asked if that was why it was salivating to such a degree. My companion smiled and told me that the liquid coming from what I thought was the creature’s mouth wasn’t saliva.

And as the monstrosity turned towards us I saw that in the hole I took to be a mouth there was in fact an eye, and in this eye I saw a torment greater than anything living has ever known.

It wasn’t saliva.

It wasn't saliva

A Fey Mood

Today I thought about the end of the universe.

One day, probably a long time from now, the universe will end. Everything inside of it will be ripped apart as it pops like a bubble. And literally everything humanity or any other civilization has ever done will be rendered meaningless. Everything we create will eventually be destroyed. Not a very happy thought.

After contemplating this for a bit I started feeling incredibly depressed. "What is the point?" I thought to myself, "If everything will be destroyed then why should we bother doing anything at all?"

After moping around for a bit I was forced to put on a smile and work with some friends for an English project. After school, when I was walking to my bus, I realized that I had completely forgotten the end of the universe. And for the last hour and a half I had been happy.

And at that moment, surrounded by the beautiful buildings of downtown Calgary, inhaling the air recently freshened by rain, I was very happy.

I wondered "How I could possibly be this happy, when everything I do lacks any sort of meaning?"

Then it came to me: I can't do anything about the end of universe, so why should I worry about it?

Sure, in a few billion years the universe will burst like an overinflated balloon, but it's not like we can stop that. We are destined to oblivion no matter how much we complain about it. As long as we're here, in this little slice of the void we like to call Earth, we may as well enjoy the time we have.

And enjoy it I shall.

Also, I tried the Final Fantasy XIV beta, and it left me stalwartly unimpressed.

Terrible, Terrible Movies.

Today's comic isn't a straw man argument. This is literally what happens to me every time I try to convince someone that a terrible movie they are a fan of is in fact terrible. Apparently there is something inherently wrong with me and every person who doesn't enjoy this movie that stops us from reveling in it's sheer genius.

A sense of taste perhaps?

But I digress. I hope you enjoy today's Box Comic.

Click for larger version

I have been reading Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontosaurus, and although romance isn't exactly my forte, I am enjoying it, despite half the book being rich people whining and banging their cousins. I can't wait to finish it so I can get back to A Game of Thrones, which is currently sitting at my desk, tempting me with it's irresistible allure. Soon, George R. R. Martin. Soon.

IN OTHER NEWS

• THE TEMPLE is coming along quite nicely.
• My friend is trying to start a D&D club at our school, he has my sword.
• My English teacher this year did his university thesis on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I was exuberant.
• Kick Ass is a wonderful movie, for the whole family.

 

Hostage Friendly Programming

So yeah. This is baffling, in more ways then are immediately apparent. For those who are too uppity to click links, a man with a penchant for raccoons waltzed into the Discovery Channel HQ, took some hostages, and tried to force Discovery to air more environmentally friendly programming. You would think that Discovery Channel already offers a wide range of environment-based programming, since that is their philosophy, but apparently it wasn't enough for Captain Planet here.

Anyways, despite his mission failing miserably, I think we're onto something with this.

Click for larger version

I've stopped using a straight edge to draw my boxes, I find that takes all of the personality out of them. I've been practicing my drawing, and hopefully I will eventually be able to draw people. What a day that will be!

I picked up A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin, after hearing many, many good things about it. I've only read the prologue and a bit of the first chapter, but already I am thoroughly engrossed. I think I may have stumbled upon a rare jewel in the vast garbage heap that makes up modern fantasy.   

   

Dungeons May or May Not Contain Dragons

I'm gearin' to go back to school. I can't stand being cooped up inside the house, like an elderly parrot inside a cage. I'm ready to partake in learning.


I am a very inexperienced Dungeons and Dragons player, but I have seen enough of the game to know it's something I would like to do much more often. While many may be quick to dismiss the game because of the social stigma it is associated with, they don't know what they're missing out on. This is a game where you are actually living inside of another person, saying what they would say and doing what they would do. You have to improvise constantly, and creative solutions are always rewarded. I think anyone who wants to be a writer, actor, or any kind of artist should try it at least once, it's an experience unlike any other.

I was thinking of picking up a D&D Essentials Starter Set when it comes out next week, and seeing if anyone in my improv club at school would want to try it out. The good thing about the Starter Set is that it's perfect for beginners, with simplified rules that ease new players into the game, while still delivering a fun experience. It would also give me a chance to run a game as a DM, something I've wanted to do for a long time.

On an unrelated note, my drawing skills are slowly getting better, and I have discovered the wonder that is T. S. Eliot's poetry. The urge to go back to the destroyer of souls has been strong lately, but with luck I'll pull through. I fear that if it claims me again, I will never escape.



  

In which man-bags are discussed.

Personally, I often carry a man-bag, although it is a burly Think-Geek Bag of Holding, so I am usually not accused of being a very strange looking woman. Others however, may not share my luck.

Click for larger version

As you can see, I have somehow found the audacity to draw a comic. As I have previously stated, I can basically only draw dinosaurs and boxes, and since one of those is already taken, I was stuck with the one that remained. 

My new schedule shall be a blog post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with a box-centric comic every Monday and Friday. Hopefully I can stick to this, and hopefully I can start doing my comics in pen, SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THEM.

In other news:

• I haven't been working on THE TEMPLE as much as I would like, but now that I have a clear idea of where I want the story to go it should be much smoother sailing.
• I am going back to school on Thursday (final year of high school), which should be interesting.
• I am playing Braid, and it is rending my mind in twain. I enjoy it!
• Thinking of getting Metroid: Other M. I love Metroid, but I hate Team Ninja, so I guess we just have to see which emotion can overpower the other.
• I bought a new coat today, which for me is a big deal. If you wear a coat enough it becomes part of your identity; it acts as a constant in an ever-changing wardrobe. This is especially true when you live in Canada, where coats are required to protect you from the doom-hail. 

The Unforgivable Beetle

I was thinking of writing an extremely short story centering around the idea of a bug that bites you and never lets go. Well, here we go:

The Unforgivable Beetle

On one of my more recent trips to the South American rain forests, I stumbled upon a very peculiar creature. My companions and I were making our way through a dense knot of ferns when I came face to face with a small insect, perched on a leaf directly in front of me. It was a bright red beetle with yellow splotches along its carapace, rather ordinary in all aspects besides its mandibles; they were enormous. They were at least equal in size to the rest of its body, and they looked like they were designed to bite into flesh,. For that reason, I started to back away from the insect, hoping that I could leave before I suffered a painful, and most likely poisonous, bite. However my movement seemed to have disturbed it, and with a clicking sound it turned towards me and leaped.

I yelped and tried to swat it off, but it had already sunk its jaws deep into my exposed arm. I was preparing to kill the gruesome thing when one of my traveling companions shouted at me to stop. He rushed over and looked at the bug, which was still attached to my arm, and gave me a sympathetic grunt.  

"That's some poor luck," he said, "It's never fun getting bitten by an Unforgivable Beetle."

"What, why?" I asked, starting to panic. "Is it poisonous?"

"Yes, but it isn't poisonous enough to kill you as long as you don't touch it. That's not why they're annoying though. They're buggers because they never let go."

I looked down at the beetle on my arm and saw it had folded up within its shell. One could barely tell the difference between the bug and an ordinary welt.

"Can't I just pull it off?" I asked.

"No!" my friend shouted, "If you hurt the beetle in any way it will release all of its poison directly into your body. You'll die almost instantly."

"Well I certainly wouldn't want that," I grumbled. "So I'm stuck with this thing forever?"

"Just until you can see a surgeon that can pull it off without killing you," he said, patting me on the back. "They're pretty common in cities and towns close to the jungle."

"So I'll be fine?" I asked, as we started running to catch up with our group.

"You'll be fine."

That night, as we were preparing our dinner, I asked one of the native guides how the Unforgivable Beetles earned their name. Apparently there is an old legend that says that one of these beetles will bite you for every unforgivable deed you have committed in your life. The natives believe that they are supposed to stay with you forever, serving as a constant reminder of what you have done.

After contemplating this, I asked the guide how many times he had been bitten. He sighed and pulled off his shirt. His body was covered in red and yellow lumps.



I hope you enjoyed that, I know I did.

Drum roll, please.

I have recently redesigned my blog. I like the picture in the background, it seems to say, "I am a very cold tree, who is also next to a sign," which is the exact message I was going for. I haven't posted here for about two months, and I sincerely apologize. I have been so busy with both work and and my race around the world that I just plum forgot that this blog existed. Well now that my internship is almost over and my race is complete (I won, naturally), I have dusted off the ol' blogger to announce something extremely important:

I'm going to start blogging again.


I know, this is shocking and upsetting, and you probably just drove your fist through your computer monitor in sheer disgust, but for those of you who didn't, there is a second, almost as important announcement:

I have begun writing my first horror story. 


It is entitled, The Temple, and it's going to be the first of a trilogy.


Now if you didn't destroy your computer in blind rage after the first announcement, you surely did after that, unless you have no bones or are a ghost. So for all of you boneless people and ghosts out there, let me assure you that the story shall be a classic weird tale, inspired by the great works of William Hope Hodgson, H.P. Lovecraft, and Algernon Blackwood. I am very excited about this story, and what I can do with it, and I'm confident I can produce something that is in fact not terrible. So stay tuned, for regular blog posts, story updates, and other sundry surprises.


Make no mistake, I have returned.